In the year 3030…
I follow an individual on Twitter (not YOU. Or Is It…) because for some reason, he follows me. Unless you’re a spammer, robot or social marketing guru, I’ll follow you, independent of whether or not I should. That is, will we offer anything of value to one another?
I read his tweets which rarely deviate from the craft of writing. He’s usually writing as he tweets. Or tweets to let people know he’s about to write. And tweets about the number of words added or omitted. Then gives a postgame tweet, so to speak. Number of words, what was worked on, general feeling on the output thus far.
And so I’m curious. Unless he’s a liar (and no one lies on Twitter), he seems to be quite prolific. Something I used to be, something I’d like to be. I be staring at prolificacy like it’s unfamiliar (I want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes, the prose…I suppose…)
I head over to his personal site to find some writing samples. Looking forward to reading good work from a fellow unknown…
Hmm.
I read and, finally, found myself in the Creative Trinity:
- Swagger. “Oh, my work’s better than this shit. This is what you work on all day? LOLOLOL.”
- Guilt. “Well, we all can’t be geniuses…or good, for that matter. Keep working on it, young grasshopper.”
- Fucking Fear. “What if people say the same about my shit??? (panic attack ensues)
As far as I can tell, he doesn’t seem like one who’d identify with swagger. I mean, he’ll call it “confidence” or “faith” and it all connotes the same thing. But swagger, essentially, is that shit when, if you think about it, and strip away the doubt (good luck), you’re left with a writer. You. Stunting and throwing cash in the air. Saying wild shit like, “I’m the new Toni Morrison” or better yet, “I’m what Richard Wright tried to be.” Blinding, inebriated belief in your skills.
…It can come out in less colorful ways, though, because its another word for that which you need to survive the remaining two aspects of the Trinity. And it’s your kinetic force. It pokes at you to write, to edit (or not, since you’re a genius), to submit, to chortle at the rejections, and keep it moving…letting the wind, the cold breath of haters’ sighs, blow your scarf or cape until it floats in the air. On that Captain Morgan. Or Kanye West who, admittedly, is what my swagger looks like on the inside (and a little on the outside).
Which brings me back to my fellow tweeter. I tip my hat to him. He believes in what he does and as a writer-reader, I try to practice humility. No need to stunt on someone else to big yourself up, which is a fallacy anyway, but anyway (see what I did there?)…
Humility is difficult though when in the throes of swagger. And you end up saying something, whether aloud or to yourself, about what you read. Seek and destroy. Sooner or later, guilt catches up with you. My personal opinion? If you’re true to being creative, in every sense of the word, guilt is inevitable.
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