(or part two of A Nebulous Mind)
image courtesy of alex andreyev
i don’t believe in the notion of either “left brained” or “right brained” people. never mind actual science, it’s just another way to say “us and them.” and why be divisive? besides, the brain can’t function as separate hemispheres. of course we know this. but the idea is a tantalizing one and, depending on how you view it, there’s a kernel of truth in the blah blah blah of the creative vs. non-creative paradigm.
it is, potentially, another way to place oneself under review and further consideration. take me, for example. in part one, my results, based on percentages, suggests i’m more left-sided than right. no shit, sherlock. i like logic, analysis, and critical thought. in some ways, how else can one cope with this batshit world? following the origins of various forms of degradation, like the African Slave Trade, to more subversive, modern methods of humiliation, like bans on gay marriages, helps me make sense of my surroundings. to know “what is” exists because of “what was,” which should make one very careful about “what will be.”
and yet, logic breaks down at some point. it fails to explain the unexplainable. only imagination can provide answers for Jersey Shore’s existence and the Democrats’ ineptitude. while i like organization, i hate doing it, akin to laundry and writing blog posts. with so many logical ideas and thoughts and pontifications, they’re a swirling mass of chaotic energy within this little mind of mine. and forget about to-do lists. i usually end up drawing stick figures.
i don’t mind rules, per se. i simply take pleasure in breaking them, so long as the end result is altruistic (see what i did there?) and successful. it explains my rise at my day job and, sometimes, the drudgery of writing fiction (aka practicing and honing craft before applying a deliberate sledgehammer to the time-tested structure). it also explains my continued reluctance to return to school; going too far to the left (re: business degree) or to the right (re: english/creative writing degree) leads to much hand-wringing, no doubt. which is an excellent way to segue into my point: how can i merge the two extremes? a more poignant way to frame the same question is, “how can i merge the two extremes and still provide for me and mine?”
i wish i had the answer right now. all i got is a fistful of jumbled ideas, and the good sense to pay attention to them, but not much else. before i went to sleep last night, it occurred to me that i need a change. a drastic one. a scary, unsettled, “all-in” kind of change. perhaps i should give my copy of the creative entrepreneur a try. or smoke a square and go to bed. what will i do, oh what will i do?
